Conflict Cause: When Solutions Become Problems

I want to do some deep thinking and understand conflict cause and its management. Human beings, thanks to their super powerful brain, develop different strengths, attitudes, and preferences. With each person being unique, behavior of one person becomes an issue for another. It simply does not matter who is right.

Yes, one could argue for any length of time that a person should not do anything that harms another. But at the end, each person is different—and justified from that person's viewpoint, whether it affects another or not.

The Illustration That Says It All

Take one example: One person, who is otherwise quite stressed, becomes totally relaxed by singing songs. Perhaps the effects are even measurable, not just psychological. In fact, such could be the impact that the person doesn't mind humming a few lines of some song throughout the day.

So far so good, right? A very easy, zero-cost, non-medical solution for something as complex as stress management.

Now imagine this person singing aloud all day and during the night until they go to sleep. This could become a problem for:

- Other roommates if sharing a room

- Other family members if sharing a home

- Car co-passengers

- Other shoppers at malls

- People enjoying their food at a fancy restaurant

- Temple-goers seeking quiet reflection

- And so on. 

The Core Problem

Now you see this as a problem. Others in the vicinity of the person may not be able to handle a monotonous hum or song with the same lines all day and into the night—especially while others are trying to read, sleep, or watch a movie. in fact they may Go Nuts!

A very effective solution for one person's deep-rooted problem causes similar problems for another.

The Unanswered Question

How do you avoid a conflict?

It is easy to advise others to "just ignore." But if one behavior can effectively become a solution for one person, so it could create a problem for another too.

I do not know what the alternative is. Finding a median is a solution to neither.

I think humans each being unique in itself is a limitation!