It took a sudden death for me to understand how deeply a quiet, unassuming life can touch people.
She was admitted into emergency a month back and then again after discharge. Finally, when things were stable, she was discharged a week ago with oxygen support.
After 4 days at home she passed away quietly, with the whole thing finishing in a month exactly. Needless to say we are all in deep shock.
So what did I learn from this death?
She was always considered kind of an underdog among the four sisters. She was poor in academics. She was never dynamic and outgoing, as many of us had assumed. Married into a working middle class family, she led a simple life. Always accommodating and never ever fighting for anything. She was taken to be a naïve girl. For my eyes at least, it didn’t look like many people gave much thought or significance to her.
Yet her death proved that she was far, far higher in social acceptability than many others.
At the very beginning of the street that we had entered, we saw people discussing her demise within an hour of news on the death. As I would cross street after street to find a parking place for my large car in the narrow lanes of colony, I realized that not just that street but many others also people were discussing the demise. As people poured in all of that day and the next, I realized that ALL of them had the same opinion that I did for her.
That she was a simple, lovable, affectionate woman genuinely. She would inquire into the well-being of all regularly without fail. Each one of the visitors genuinely were sorry for sudden demise.
A woman so much loved that without any of us being aware, she was actually a very popular figure in a colony she was married into. Each of the relatives, friends and neighbors had exactly same words for her as if copied from a text book. It confirms that she did not differentiate when it came to showering affection and care with everyone like clockwork.
And this is so even of greeting people on birthdays and anniversaries even if she did not maintain calendar digitally or anlahue from what we know.
It told me that genuinely loving everyone is a very important attribute to live beyond death. Living simply and not demanding anything is satisfying to both to self and others. One could live happily without many possessions.
There is a saying that how much a person achieved is not known when the person is alive but it is after death. And this did confirm in this case. What could one say of a person having death in an auspicious Uttarayanam period, most auspicious Magha masa, an auspicious Vasanta Panchami, and on a Friday and as a punistree (dying before the husband did). Swarna, the woman was indeed gold! May her soul rest in peace.
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