Of Children Leaving Home - What Animals Do Easily, Humans Struggle With

It is a universal truth in the animal kingdom that when the young ones grow up, they leave their parents. And it may very well have to be that way.

This allows for reduced concentration, avoids over-competition, and makes better use of land and other resources. Given the inherent nature of “self” first, animals in fact encourage and even push the young ones into the open world once they reach adulthood.

But why is it that humans find it so hard when children leave home?

My younger one, who had come home for a vacation of two weeks, leaves back to the US today. And this blog post reflects my current mood, even if it ain't something that I can't cope with. If the mother feels awful, a good justification exists — the child came out of her own body after all, and so there is an inseparable bond between them.

But a father also feeling awful is something strange.

Is it because, even at an atomic and surely cellular level, some form of bond still exists between father and child? That a particle that is split and separated physically still holds a bond between the two is a scientifically proven fact anyway. Or is it because of a love that parents 'build' over time — something that grows, not something that appears suddenly?

Love in itself is something that grows. It doesn't come into existence all at once by the very nature of it.

But then, these things apply to animals as well. Yet they do not seem to have such a binding bond to hold the offspring with them all the time.

Why is it that humans have this problem?

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Some.herbivors as elephants — when the young ones grow up, continue to live with the herd. The herd keeps growing in number until older ones pass away. I guess in the case of elephants and other herbivorous animals, the strength of each animal within the herd lies in the safety and security it provides to every member.

But in animals like lions or bears, competition is perhaps a bigger factor than herd strength.

And that would explain why even carnivorous animals like wild dogs and hyenas prefer their offspring to continue staying within the group, while animals like tigers prefer to live alone. They don’t need a herd to hunt and survive.

So in all, this suggests that whether parents keep their offspring close or not is largely based on the dynamics of “self” survival.

Now when it comes to most humans like us, it is not really a question of survival that makes us want our children to stay with us or at least remain in close proximity.

We can stay territorially apart and still remain connected virtually anytime we desire.

So why are we so deeply attached to children, even after they had grown into adulthood?

We seem to be quite unique in that aspect — even compared to elephants, where the bond isn't necessarily one that is based on an emotional alone. 

Or is it just our need for a social network — a form of group living?

Humans have evolved into very unique creatures and stand at the top of the animal kingdom, thanks to the wonderfully powerful organ called the brain. It is powerful yet complex.

And that very organ creates its own share of problems such as these.